A Tip for Fathers (and Husbands and Lovers) Visiting a Victoria’s Secret Flagship Store

by Chikashi

Victoria's Secret New Bond Street London There are women’s undergarment shops, and there are women’s undergarment shops.

The former are found amongst department stores like Harrods or Bergdorf Goodman and boutiques of more established brands like La Perla or that of a relatively new market entrant like Agent Provocateur. There is usually a reasonably comfortable chair somewhere in the corner. We boys can sit down and do some serious people-watching. Witnessing the clientele in all sizes and shapes going through the racks and holding up pieces in all sizes and shapes that pique their interest, one can go through a very broad range of emotions from horror to bemusement to, on rare occasions, delight. Some of the clients are old enough to remember being an 18-year old fainting whilst screaming S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night! at a Bay City Rollers concert.

You walk into the latter, and you think you took a wrong turn and entered a One Direction gig. Absolutely packed with teenagers who have never even heard of Bay City Rollers or seen a rotary telephone. In the middle of New Bond Street.

Bond Street used to be a very different thoroughfare.

But, never mind, you’re there with your own teenager(s). And, you’re being weighed down with sensory overload. The overwhelming scent in the fragrance department near the entrance, the crowd, the youthful energy, the loud clothes they’re wearing… You’d think that seeing all those MAMiLs regularly would have prepared you for seeing all those girls wearing fluorescent clothing, but no, the density and intensity of the visual onslaught are of a different scale. You feel light-headed. A large martini to ease the nerves would be lovely. The bar at Claridge’s is just around the corner, but it might as well be a million miles away.

What to do? Leave the girls to their own devices and head to the top floor. There are comfortable chairs (yes, more than one) and benches. And, the loo. Clean, spacious and walls covered with framed photos of VS Angels with come-to-bed eyes. It’s silent, and there is no crowd. It’s just you (and perhaps another poor sod) and the Angels. Take a deep breath. Splash some cold water on your face. Relax.

It’s the most appropriately decorated boys’ room, perhaps with the exception of one that is decorated with Pirelli calendar images.

Presumably, the girls’ loo is decorated in an identical manner. Over there, the images are inspiring them to wear Victoria’s Secret products in the hopes that the little garments will make them look like the Angels, before they rush back to the shop floor to grab a few more products.

And, we boys can stay on the top floor until the girls are done.