Business Drivel, part 2

by Chikashi

Many business people love similes and metaphors.  Most of these are used for some kind of a commercial purpose, whether to make something seem better, stronger or less catastrophic than it actually is.  Plain language is so démodé. Some are even poetic whilst others can be really daft, but at least they are used with a utilitarian, albeit sometimes questionable, commercial purpose, in a competitive environment where appearance can matter as much as, or more than, reality.

Then, there are other, more recently popular metaphors that seem to have no purpose other than simply trying to appear more sophismacated by, ironically, borrowing expressions favoured by politicians and psychics who have expensive conversations with your great great great grandmother.  My favourite is a North American expression, ‘reaching out’.  You can write me or call me, but please don’t reach out to me. May I remind you that we are not in the showers at the Y? Well, ok, ‘reach out’ may be analogous to ‘contact’, and I am fine with you contacting me. But, what’s wrong with contacting? Too old fashioned? I can see that you’re happy to see me, but please keep your hands to yourself.  That is, unless I indicate otherwise.  Opt-in rather than opt-out, love.