Business Drivel, part 1

by Chikashi

Before entering the commercial realm, I had thought that there can be too much drivel in academia, more in some fields than others. Nowhere as bad as in politics, but enough prattle to cause distraction. Then, I entered the world of publicly owned companies and found that the ‘real world’ is just full of incomprehensible drivel. To be clear, it has nothing to do with what any society considers polite conversation although I suspect that some conflate the two. Yes, I was very naïve. Sadly, I also started to talk the grown-up’s talk until I realised I have no idea what I myself was on about. Admittedly, it still slips out from time to time in the company of other practitioners…

After sacking the CEO and another senior manager for a multi-billion dollar (WordPress spell-check recommends ‘mulch-billion’ or ‘mufti-billion’, but never mind) impairment charge, the chairman of a large, dual-listed company said, ‘…and we are taking decisive action to improve our competitive position further with an aggressive cost reduction plan.

Impressive number of words. It sounds serious and important, but was that English? What did he actually say? Anything?