Arse Butter

by Chikashi

Also known as chamois cream amongst the unwashed, it is meant to prevent chafing and painful, unsightly bacterial infection of the perineal region. As the start of the G2MC Charity Ride approaches, it has been mentioned more than a few times amongst my MAMIL mates. Apparently, one guy has a bespoke butter mixed for him. It makes you wonder what his derrière looks, smells and feels like, doesn’t it?

I have not yet tried anything that is specifically marketed for cycling; the sample goop from Rapha has been sitting in a drawer for ages. Last year, on the way from London to Edinburgh, I brought along a tin of Penaten. This year, I will be taking a tube of another nappy care ointment, Bepanthen. Apparently, Bepanthen is breathable. Given the area of application, that is a useful feature, no? Incidentally, there has also been some discussion on ‘wind jacket’ and ‘wind breaker’; apparently, better ones are silent. Cycling is a strange activity.

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